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Friday, January 26th, 2007

Danny Cohen Blog Installement #3

Ladies Of The Canyon

My parents knew an albino Icelandic woman that lived in a cottage in Laural Canyon (Rome meets the Shire). This witch turned handsome men into movie stars, then ruined their careers (if crossed), by burning or slashing the portraits she painted.

They knew a mystic gay couple there, who practiced 'Astral Projection'. The Stan Laural-faced ectomorph left his body for 3 days and couldn't get back! The red-faced, eunich-voiced endomorph, had to hunt for him on the Astral Plane.

When I matured, another Laural witch (handed to me from my friend's phone), invited me over, sight unseen! Minutes later, we were in bed. She was a beautiful 40 year old platinum divorcee in hot pants. She had an English accent. Occult books lined her shelves.

That night, I dreamt I was tied to her bed. She wore a robe emblazoned with ancient symbols, and held 2 vicious dobermans at bay. A goat-faced man with a cowl over his head, presided at the foot of the bed. Grinning 'onlookers' chanted. A pillow was put over my face. Before I could suffocate, I came out of hypnosis posing as sleep! I'd no relevant cultural memories then, to prompt the lucid vision. Earlier, she'd offered potent crimson wine; She must have known I was a virgin, ripe for the sacrifice.

This is the story behind 'Beneath the Shroud', a creepy Wagnerian opus on 'Shades of Dorian Gray' (due Feb. 6 on Anti records).

I saw her once more, but she was brooding and cryptic, dwelling on death and the occult. Her sister had just attempted suicide, and her ex-husband could break in with a baseball bat! Days later, she married a black football star.

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